Darn!
by AMGerm Rocks
Summary: One day when walking on the street, suddenly a large crowd surround Saya and Haji. What was happened?. Why are they surrounded?. What is the mob doing?.


Thanks for being on my side!. I promise I will write a long Blood+ fic, but for now I'll just stick with oneshot and humor to improve my skill in English, as well as to gather more information about Blood+.

DARN!.

Author: AMGerm Rocks (Me!. ;)).

Character(s): Saya, Haji, Kai.

Pair(s): Saya/Haji.

Rated: M (for language and dark mind suggesting).

Genre: Humor.

Summary: One day when walking on the street, suddenly a large crowd surround Saya and Haji. What was happened?. Why are they surrounded?. What is the mob doing?.

- aaa: character's words.

"aaa": character's thought or sound.

Note: Characters are slightly OOC.

XXX

Kai kneels on the floor and picks up every scrap that had once belong to his "great treasure" and murmurs:

- Darn stupid guy!. Darn Chevalier!. Darn you son of a bitch, Haji!. - He growls, memories of what happened floods back into the red hair man's angry mind.

~Flashback~

- Are you sure we should doing this?. - A deep male voice could be heard out side the dirty door with the big "KAI" on it.

- Haji, for the tenth times, YES!. So shut up!. - Another male voice, which sounded rough and very annoyed.

- I'm just merely open your virgin eyes. Don't tell me you want to be just a "boy" _**forever**_?. - The rough voice snorted at the word "forever".

- I…. But what if Saya knows about this?. What will she think of me then?.

- Oh, come on!. It's still 10 A.M in the morning, so Saya is still asleep, and the twins are at school. What the heck are you afraid of?.

- But….

- Shut the hell up and enjoy the show!. Or else, I'll stick a tape on your cower mouth!.

Out of no where, a female voice said out loud and the door swing open:

- Kai, I'm hungry!.

The next thing Kai knew, is a big "**CRASH**".

~End of flashback~

- Darn you, Haji!. From now on, I'll be the main character of the movie "Vendetta". And I warn you, Haji. It will not just a movie!. - A creepy smile appears on Kai's face and the man's body shaking with evil laugh:

- Ha ha…. Ha ha…. MUHAHAHAAAAAA…. -. Yes, he watched too much "Hannah Montana" and now is affected by Rico.

XXX

3 months later.

What a beautiful day, just Haji and Saya herself, walking together along side of the beach, feeling the warm sand on your feet. Well, of course her feet not his, for no matter how big her eyes were, her Chevalier didn't fall for her trick and he simply looked away. It's a miracle thing when she can get him to the beach in the first place though, for his nose is… "sensitive".

Remember about his nose, Saya wonders why it didn't bleed in the past. Was it because he found her wasn't attractive enough?. What, but he saw her when she woke up, when she was naked!. Did he even think of her as a woman?. Or as a girl?.

"Darn!". But… if he didn't think of her as a women,… then why did his nose bleed that day?. When he saw her in her swim suit?. It was just her old school swim suit!. OR… he found that swim suit sexy?. But not her body?.

"CRACK!"- The umbrella in her hand broke in half, which cause every one on the beach looks at them.

"But he saw me in that swimsuit before!... Wait a minute!. His nose has bled ever seen I saw him in the room with Kai".

"GASP!". "Huh?. What was that sound come from?". Saya raises her head and sees that they are surrounded by a huge crowed seems like all of young girls and women, well if you don't count some several gay man in that.

- Oh my gosh!. Is it really him?. It's him, right?. - Whispers all around them, then one of the girl take out a picture inside her bra. The young girl looks at it, at him, then yells when she suddenly jumps and spats the complete black glasses out of the tall man's face.

- IT'S REALLY HIM!. - After the girl's movement, every one else all chirps happily and corners the "now bleeding nose stone face"- Haji.

XXX

At Omoro, Kai is happy when standing next to his new "great treasure":

- Oh, look at you!. Look at my new baby!. Is he cute?. Is he handsome?. Yes!. Yes, he is!.

"Bang" - the door snaps open, which make Kai jumps in panic:

- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING GUITY!.

He spuns around to expect cops, but only catches the very interesting scene: Haji is in rag!. His clothes and hair look like he's just been in a jungle!. Man, Kai thought he would die if he saw such a scene like that!.

"Am I dead?". - He punches his face.

- Ouch!. - "So I'm not dead".

After regain their strength, they stand up, then Saya gasps:

- Kai, where this you get all the money to buy this?. - She points to the big black flashy 52 inches on the wall.

- Handsome, right?. I just ordered it this morning with my own money!. - He proudly says and is about to coo again when Saya interupts:

- Kai, the last time I check you had creditors. And it was three months ago, so you can't have such huge money in such a short amount of time.

- Well… Oh, he he… It….

The phone rings and helps Kai out of trouble when Saya walks over to pick it up since she is the nearest one:

- Hello, Omoro…

- Oh, my Queen. Where is the "Dark Prince"?. I want to congratulate him on such a marvelous success."

- Nathan Mahler!.

- Yes. That is my name, dear. Don't growl, it's not lady like!.

- What do you mean?. How could you still alive?. I killed you…

- Hush, dear!. I'm alive and now burning my money and soon will be broken, 'cause I'm calling the international call. Do you even know how expensive it is?. Sure you have to know it, right?. Or, did all the time in human life, you just slept?. Now get the "Dark Prince", so I could talk to him!.

Saya's cheeks burn with his words and feels like being scolded by her grandmother. "How did he know about the sleeping part?".

- What do you mean "Dark Prince"?.

- What?. You don't know that?. Lets me explain to you then, honey….

So, Saya listens to Nathan babbling on the phone. "Such a weirdo!". Just a minute ago, he complained how his money is burning and now he could talk about something he likes with such enthusiasm that Saya thinks she may lost all her day and the day after that.

Luckily for her 'cause Nathan is busy so he was done two minutes later. And when he did, Saya yells:

- WHAT?.

Haji watches his queen drops the phone in rush and runs straight into her room. Ofcourse being her Chevalier, he has to make sure if she was OK, even though sometimes she acts like that just because she smells food or just because she needs a fast "relax".

XXX

- Saya, are you alright?. - The concerned man knocks lightly on her door.

Silent. Except for some sounds of mouse clicking, and keys typing.

- Saya?.

Still silent. Some minutes pass by and then it hits him. The smell of something _**very**_ sweet. The smell make his heart bumps in excited. A another minute, and this time he smells… blood.

- Saya!.

Haji jumps in with all of his mind in terror, but yet the Saya he seeing is just having a nose bleeding. With curious, he walks to the computer which Saya is staring with her wide eyes. And the things he sees make the stoic man's face dark red.

- How did they get them?. - Haji rushes to block the screen out of Saya's vision, turn his back to get hope the pictures are fake. But they are not.

There on the screen, is a video of him playing the cello, naked. But thanks god, his most "secret place" is obscured by the instrument. And below it, is all the picture about him in different kind list of images. "Dark Prince in suit", "Dark Prince with bare chest", "Naked Dark Prince", "**Complete** naked Dark Prince" and the word "complete" is in a big bold red.

"What does it mean?", and when he sees the naked video of him playing the cello is in the list "**complete** naked Dark Prince", he immediately understood, for when he stops playing he will completely expose himself.

- Where did they get them?. - Suddenly, he remembers about a certain person who he sure responsible for all of this, and then he is gone in a flash. Therefore, he totally forgets that "he" is still playing on the screen in the "air suit".

XXX

In Kai's room.

After some skills on computer that he learned when stealing peeks all the times in the past, Haji is now having to deal with the password to access into the observing camera program. For a moment he forgot about his rage toward Kai when he saw the image of chibi chubby David poking his tongue out with a bubble "Bleh bleh bleh…" floating above his head.

The smart Chevalier thinks for a moment and then types "Nankurunaisa", and when a Chiropteran appears then eat David's head, the program is opened. After few more click, Haji is mad again when on the screen is about every single corner of his room, include in his bathroom. No wonder why there is a very sexy picture of him taking a bath on the wesite.

"Darn you, Kai!".

XXX

Meanwhile, in Saya's room.

She is now sitting on the floor, heart beating really fast, her whole body flushes, her nose bleeds even more, and "that place" is wet.

She needs to make it go away, NOW!.

XXX

And if you were two blocks away from Omoro, at that time you would hear two screams:

"KAI!" and "HAJI!".

XXX

Under the basement of Omoro, which George had prepare just in case some one would come and ask to take their money back. There in front of a computer, is a certain red hair man laughing like crazy:

- Money, money… They are all mine!. MINE!.

Well, after checking his money in the bank and laughing until his lungs are out, Kai now heard the noises above. Curious he opens a program, and then click.

- No, not this one!. - And click. - Not this one!. - More clicks.

- No no no…. Yes, got it!. - And "strangly" the sound of moaning and grunting on his computer suddenly match the noises above.

- He he he… More money for me!. Ha ha… ha ha…. MUHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA… Ack…. Darn you, cockroach!

The end.

XXX

Oh, my perverted mind!. *bleeding nose*.


End file.
